Lawyers...You gotta love 'em.

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has cheated him out of ten million bucks. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that a deaf bookkeeper would not hear anything that he might have to testify about in court. When the Godfather goes to confront the bookkeeper about his missing $10 million, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language.

The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the 10 million bucks he embezzled from me is."

The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the money is.

The bookkeeper signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."

The attorney tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."

The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it the bookkeeper's temple and says, "Ask him again!"

The attorney signs to the bookkeeper, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him!"

The bookkeeper signs back, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens!"

The Godfather asks the attorney, "Well, what'd he say?"

The attorney replies, "He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."

Lawyers...You gotta love 'em.


Am I a Hindu ?

Am I a Hindu?

Four years ago, I was flying from JFK NY Airport to SFO to attend a
meeting at Monterey, CA.
An American girl was sitting on the right side, near window seat.
It indeed was a long journey - it would take nearly seven hours!

I was surprised to see the young girl reading a Bible - unusual of
young Americans! (Later I came to know that September 11 has changed
mind-set of lot of US citizens. They suddenly turned religious, it
After some time she smiled and we had few acquaintances talk. I told
her that I am from India.

Then suddenly the girl asked: 'What's your faith?'
'What?' I didn't understand the question.
'I mean, what's your religion? Are you a Christian? Or a Muslim?'
'No!' I replied, 'I am neither Christian nor Muslim'.
Apparently she appeared shocked to listen to that.
'Then who are you...?'
'I am a Hindu', I said.
She looked at me as if she is seeing a caged animal.
She could not understand what I was talking about.

A common man in Europeor US know about Christianity and Islam, as they
are the leading religions of the world today.

But a Hindu, what?
I explained to her - I am born to a Hindu father and Hindu mother.
Therefore, I am a Hindu by birth.

'Who is your prophet?' she asked.
'We don't have a prophet,' I replied.
'What's your Holy Book?'
'We don't have a single Holy Book, but we have hundreds and thousands
of philosophical and sacred scriptures,' I replied.
'Oh, come on...at least tell me who is your God?'
'What do you mean by that?'

'Like we have Yahweh and Muslims have Allah - don't you have a God?'
I thought for a moment. Muslims and Christians believe one God (Male
God) who created the world and takes an interest in the humans who
inhabit it. Her mind is conditioned with that kind of belief.

According to her (or anybody who doesn't know about Hinduism), a
religion need to have one Prophet, one Holy book and one God. The mind
is so conditioned and rigidly narrowed down to such a notion that
anything else is not acceptable. I understood her perception and
concept about faith. You can't compare Hinduism with any of the
present leading religions where you have to believe in one concept of

I tried to explain to her: 'You can believe in one god and he can be a
Hindu. You may believe in multiple deities and still you can be a
Hindu. What's more - you may not believe in god at all, still you can
be a Hindu. An atheist can also be a Hindu.'
This sounded very crazy to her.

She couldn't imagine a religion so unorganized, still surviving for
thousands of years, even after onslaught from foreign forces.

'I don't understand.. .but it seems very interesting. Are you
What can I tell to this American girl?

I said: 'I do not go to temple regularly. I do not make any regular
rituals. I have learned some of the rituals in my younger days. I
still enjoy doing it sometimes.'
'Enjoy? Are you not afraid of God?'

'God is a friend. No- I am not afraid of God. Nobody has made any
compulsions on me to perform these rituals regularly.'

She thought for a while and then asked: 'Have you ever thought of
converting to any other religion?'

'Why should I? Even if I challenge some of the rituals and faith in
Hinduism, nobody can convert me from Hinduism. Because, being a Hindu
allows me to think independently and objectively, without
conditioning. .. I remain as a Hindu never by force, but choice.' I
told her that Hinduism is not a religion, but a set of beliefs and
practices. It is not a religion like Christianity or Islam because it
is not founded by any one person or does not have an organized
controlling body like the Church or the Order, I added. There is no
institution or authority.
'So, you don't believe in God?' she wanted everything in black and

'I didn't say that. I do not discard the divine reality. Our
scripture, or Sruthis or Smrithis - Vedas and Upanishads or the Gita -
say God might be there or he might not be there. But we pray to that
supreme abstract authority (Para Brahma) that is the creator of this

'Why can't you believe in one personal God?'

'We have a concept - abstract - not a personal god. The concept or
notion of a personal God, hiding behind the clouds of secrecy, telling
us irrational stories through few men whom he sends as messengers,
demanding us to worship him or punish us, does not make sense. I don't
think that God is as silly as an autocratic emperor who wants others
to respect him or fear him.' I told her that such notions are just
fancies of less educated human imagination and fallacies, adding that
generally ethnic religious practitioners in Hinduism believe in
personal gods. The entry level Hinduism has over-whelming
superstitions too. The philosophical side of Hinduism negates all

'Good that you agree God might exist. You told that you pray. What is
your prayer then?'
'Loka Samastha Sukino Bhavantu. OmShanti, Shanti, Shanti,'
'Funny,' she laughed, 'What does it mean?'

'May all the beings in all the worlds be happy. OmPeace, Peace,
'Hmm...very interesting. I want to learn more about this religion. It
is so democratic, broad-minded and free...' she exclaimed.

'The fact is Hinduism is a religion of the individual, for the
individual and by the individual with its roots in the Vedas and the
Bhagavad-Gita. It is all about an individual approaching a personal
God in an individual way according to his temperament and inner
evolution - it is as simple as that.'

'How does anybody convert to Hinduism?'

'Nobody can convert you to Hinduism, because it is not a religion, but
a set of beliefs and practices. Everything is acceptable in Hinduism
because there is no single authority or organization either to accept
it or to reject it or to oppose it on behalf of Hinduism.'
I told her - if you look for meaning in life, don't look for it in
religions; don't go from one cult to another or from one guru to the

For a real seeker, I told her, Bible itself gives guidelines when it
says 'Kingdomof Godis within you.' I reminded her of Christ's teaching
about the love that we have for each other. That is where you can find
the meaning of life.

Loving each and every creation of the God is absolute and real.
'Isavasyam idam sarvam' Isam (the God) is present (inhabits) here
everywhere - nothing exists separate from the God, because God is
present everywhere. Respect every living being and non-living things
as God. That's what Hinduism teaches you.

Hinduism is referred to as Sanathana Dharma, the eternal faith. It is
based on the practice of Dharma, the code of life. The most important
aspect of Hinduism is being truthful to oneself. Hinduism has no
monopoly on ideas. It is open to all. Hindus believe in one God (not a
personal one) expressed in different forms. For them, God is timeless
and formless entity.
Ancestors of today's Hindus believe in eternal truths and cosmic laws
and these truths are opened to anyone who seeks them. But there is a
section of Hindus who are either superstitious or turned fanatic to
make this an organized religion like others. The British coin the word
'Hindu' and considered it as a religion.

I said: 'Religions have become an MLM (multi-level- marketing)
industry that has been trying to expand the market share by
conversion. The biggest business in today's world is Spirituality.
Hinduism is no exception... '

I am a Hindu because it doesn't condition my mind with any faith

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